Six months ago, I was trembling in fear since I was on the verge of moving to a different country to live on my own for the very first time. I was scared of the unknown; a new place, a new university, new people. I was never good at handling changes and always struggled when I didn’t feel in control of the situation. In the end, I didn’t have much of a choice, so I made a conscious decision to try my best to be happy here – not to close myself off in the safe and cosy cocoon of my room, but to put myself out there and see what happened. The idea of always saying ‘yes’ to new adventures was what kept me going. I got to experience many amazing things, see many wonderful places and learn so much, not only about the country I was staying in, but also about the world around me and my very own self.
A quick rundown of my Erasmus experience: six countries visited, as well as fourteen cities (including six Dutch), one new language (ja, ik spreek een klein beetje Nederlands), two new ideas for future careers (brain-computer interfaces and sports biomechanics – it’s good to have a broad spectrum of interests), and two new extracurricular activities to take up this year (salsa and pole dancing). New dream destinations include: Finland (I’ve got to try kalsarikännit); Italy (with a must-stop in Verona); some more of Spain (San Sebastian – I’m coming for you!); and - to be completely honest – anywhere else in the world. There is so much left for me to see! On the topic of dream destinations… one new promise to myself to keep: if a certain exceptionally cheerful Mexican comes to Poland I have to jump on a plane to Mexico. And what I’ve gained most of all - countless new friendships. And counting the losses? Well, there has been one pretty bad cut on the head (no stitches needed), a few items of clothing accidentally forgotten in random places (most of them I have managed to retrieve) and just a few late night journeys home have vanished from my memory… I would say I did quite well!
Now it’s time to go home. I’m sitting in Enschede bus station with a tonne of luggage in front of me, and plenty of memories in my heart to keep me going until my next adventure. I look around and it feels like a perfect summary of months passed – the beauty of the moment, the beauty found in little things. I can hear the melody someone is playing on the piano close to the train station (by the way, it’s Thursday at 00:20 and someone is playing Bach in an empty train station). I can hear the joyous chatter of people going home from late dinners… or maybe in search of parties? It’s a student city, after all, so you never know! My head is still full of beautiful goodbyes I had to say to all my Erasmus friends just a few hours ago.
In this moment, I have realised that I’m in love. I’ve realised I’ve been falling in love with each passing day: in love with this country, this city and all the people I met along the way. I fell in love with the world, with all of its light and darkness, with all the strangers on the street. More importantly, I fell in love with what I always feared the most – the unknown and the feeling of uncertainty.
My Erasmus is behind me now, yet it doesn’t quite feel over for me. I know I’ll see most of these people again, I know I’ll keep travelling and exploring the world, I know I’ll keep being open to every opportunity that comes along. So in no way am I sad. I’m happy I got to leave all of that, I’m happy it changed me. Most of all, I am happy and excited for what’s to come and I can’t wait for the rest of my “new” life!
Written by Paulina Wyrwas
The article was originally published on wordpress.com.
